I Like to Run Alone

I like to run alone.

• I can go at my own pace.
• There's no one to which I am accountable.
• I'm not holding anyone up.
• I don't feel the pressure of letting anyone down.
• If I want to go faster, I don't have to worry about whether someone else is keeping up.
• I am hindered only by own physical limitations - and no one else suffers the consequences.
• I am not embarrassed when my ability pales in comparison to someone else's.
• I can set my own course.

In some ways this is good.  In others, not so much. 

Maturity, set to words.

If...

Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

The Power and the "Want To"

..."for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose." Philippians 2.13

Because of the way it is written, I had always heard/read this verse to mean that it was God's will and God's action that fulfills His good purpose in me.  Though it's true that my faith-filled life begins with His will and His action on my behalf, that's not what the writer was talking about here.

Apart from Christ we are unable to do what is good in the eyes of God.  Apart from His Spirit living inside us, our best efforts to do good are like filthy rags in the presence of a holy God. Without the counsel of His Word we are powerless to change.

But with Him, look out!

The amplified Bible puts it this way...  (read it slowly and thoughtfully)

[Not in your own strength] for it is God Who is all the while effectually at work in you [energizing and creating in you the power and desire], both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight.

There is so much packed into those precious words.

When our lives call for a change that honors God, there is nothing that should be allowed to get in the way. Our lives, if we believe Him, are to be a reflection of who God is - His character, His nature, His glory! The Lord gives us the desire and the power to do exactly that.  It is only our forgivable sin that gets in the way. (1John 1.9)

"Now may the God of hope [the God from Whom hope comes] fill you with every sort of joy and peace in believing, so that you may have an abundance of hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15.13

"Whatever was written before was written for our instruction that by the endurance and the encouragement that the Scriptures give us we may have hope." Romans 15.4

Lord, help me to honor You.  I don't want to be stuck in old ways, old patterns, the old me. Let my life be a reflection of Your glory. Help me to be more like Jesus, who died to give me life and make me free! I love You, Lord. You are El Shaddai... all I need. Fill me with Your Spirit. Forgive me of my unbelief and that sin that entangles me. You are good.  Amen.

"I support your right to choose..."

Or do I?  I believe in a sovereign Creator.  He is a God who created the world ("The earth, together with all of its countries, peoples, and natural features." Google Dictionary)  I believe He has a purpose and a plan for His creation.  (Why else would He have created it?  Who creates something out of nothing, and then walks away?  Wait.  Don't answer that.)  I can be outspoken about sin, but do I have the right to be outspoken about the sinner?  No.  He or she has the right to choose that which he or she is led by his or her own conscience, whether for good or for harm.  And I support that right.

Should I help pass legislation that supports that right?  No.  Doing so has the potential to support the sin.  If I say a woman should be free to choose whether or not she wants to put an end to the life that lives within her own body, and she chooses death, I have made it possible for her to do so.  I oppose abortion, so I vote "no," regardless of how it's worded on a ballot.  If I say a homosexual couple should be free to choose whether or not they want to live according to their "natural" desires, agreeing on a ballot to change the definition of the terms "husband" and "wife," I have sanctioned the acts that go along with that.  I oppose homosexual "marriage", so I vote "no."

Am I a "bad" person because I stand opposed?  No.  I'm exercising my conscience.  Just as others exercise theirs.  We are "bad" people when we do "bad" things.  (I am included in that.)  In that, we all are capable of being "bad" people.  "Bad" is a reference to morality, isn't it?  Who defines morality?  (I suppose that's become more and more subjective.)

I support your right to choose.  I do not support the sin that you (or I) choose to practice.  There are always negative consequences with sin.  My friend Dawn said, "I'm going to support legislation that makes it hard for folks to sin, because I want the blessing of God, (and) not the back-splash of the consequences of others' sin."  That's a great way to look at it, in my opinion.

So, yes.  Your right to choose is the same as mine, I support that.  And, overall, God is our judge.

Today...

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed, emotionally. The weird part is that my emotions are running under the surface. I'm not wracked with emotion, crying uncontrollably. I really don't have anything to cry about, yet, and it's possible that I won't have any reason to. I've always sort of made it my policy not to become upset about something that hasn't happened, yet. So. I sit here. Waiting.  I'm waiting until Monday afternoon, when I can have a test done, and then wait some more while an evaluation of the results takes place. While I'm waiting, I'm going to choose to trust God.  The God who made me, and knows me, and who hasn't left my side, and who will walk with me, no matter what. "You keep in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You." (Isaiah 26:3) In the meantime, I'm a little nervous, somewhat frightened, but choosing to rest in the assurance that I don't know the worst, and am hoping for the best possible outcome.  And that's where I find peace.  Not that it's all going to be ok, but that whatever comes, I'm ok.  I'm His. And I really have nothing to fear.