to be understood...

(written 2/11)  I have this crazy desire to be understood.  It's not good.  It makes me obsessive, and really just plain annoying.  Here's the funny thing... we can't understand God.  Not fully, at least.  There will always be things that are unexplained.  Am I ok with that?  Yep.  Does God understand me?  Yep.  Better than I could ever know myself, His Word says.  Lord, help me to leave the "understanding" up to You.  Thank You for revealing what is necessary, at the right time.  Trusting Him...

Never quite there...

Shared this with a friend... When I first became a Believer, I thought about how much more I would know and understand when I'd been a Christian for ten years.  Then I got to ten years and realized that walking with Him for twenty years would give me so much more to hold onto.  It's amazing how, in my 22nd year, He's going, "Just hold on there, kiddo, there's still so much more to come!"  I love that about Him!  The depth of His grace goes beyond what we're able to bear at any point in time... what a faithful and patient Teacher!  I want to always be His student.  How could we ever know all that there is to know?  We can't!  It amazes me that people could think they've got it all figured out! (Of course, I'm the worst!)  Silly humans.

A Process...

I am in the process of learning how to shepherd my own heart.  Lord, help me to learn... to grow... and to pass on what You've given me.  In Jesus' name.  Amen.

"God's Urgent Restraint"

I read that phrase in a devotional this morning, and my mind clung to it.  Almighty God holding me back, for my own good.  The goodness that causes a mother to hold her child tightly to keep him from making a huge mistake... touching a flame, running into the road, punching the daylights out of his brother!  Urgent restraint.  "Don't do that!"  "Don't go there!"

What's Her Story?

My friend Jennifer and I were working in the Hallmark store in downtown Seattle.  We were doing inventory... counting lots and lots of cards!  I love working with Jennifer.  We don't get to do that very often.  When we're together, we're silly, and we're serious, and we love each other.  She knows me pretty well, and I know her.  It's very cool...