No Longer Condemned

A friend recently encountered a terrible accident while horseback riding.  As a result, she spent four days in the hospital.  She suffered six broken ribs, broken clavicle and scapula. Her left lung collapsed, but is nearly at 100% functionality.  After being released from the hospital, she said, "I'm in a lot of pain, but thankful I will heal with time."

After reading a familiar verse in Scripture, I thought of my friend's accident.  And sin.

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1)

In Christ, there is...
No condemnation.
No shame.

There is, however, consequence.  A terrible injury inflicted as a result of sin may be forgiven, washed clean, covered in grace.  But consequences remain.  There is recovery and healing that must take place. And that takes time. We can't rush healing.  6-8 weeks, the doctors say.  Or 8-10 weeks.  Six months to a year. A lifetime. Recovery...and healing is a process. 

"If we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and purify (wash, cleanse) us from all unrighteousness." (1John 1:9)

What a feeling!  In a moment, we can be forgiven.

I can imagine, though, having experienced a horrendous accident, being taken to the emergency room, being prepped for surgery, undergoing procedure after procedure, and being wheeled into a recovery room.  Now what? Well... You wait.  And you do your best to get back to a normal life.

Eventually, you realize that you're living.  Wounds have healed, though scars remain.

God's grace brings new life.

Messenger {fmf}

Someone who brings information, insight, something important.

Good news.

Bad news.

Something to say.

Something you (or I) need to know.

Jesus.

John.  (Who came as a messenger.)

He brought the Good News.

Some didn't want to hear it.

Many responded.

Me.

If it is possible,
let me bring good news

to people who are hurting.

The Good News of Christ - 

a Savior who loves 

and cares

and seeks

and saves.

Who delivers

and redeems,

transforms

and makes new.

Messenger.

Testimony of Grace - My Grampapa

It's Father's Day weekend. And, though he was my grandfather, he showed me a Daddy's love more consistently than anyone else in my life. Some of the memories my Aunt Jill-ann shares below are memories I have, too. (Which is so cool! - She is two years younger than I am.) Playing at Marymoor Park and watching Grandpa go 'round and 'round on the velodrome. (I never knew that's what it was called.) Flying over Grandma's house in Bothel and waving at her from the sky with the airplane's wings. Ice cream (licorice ice cream is the best!) Grandpa's bike accident and the trip that was cut short because of the Mt. St. Helen's eruption (although, those are memories-from-a-distance having heard about them by phone, living in Las Vegas - the concern was just as real.)  

Unfinished

I wonder why the mind continues to work out those things that remain unresolved.  What is it that causes that replay and rework to take place?  For some reason, we seek resolution. Is that a God-given trait?

Until it is finished, we keep going 'round and 'round.

A Minister of the Gospel

According to the Word...

I am a minister of the Gospel.
I am called to operate in truth and love and grace.
With compassion and humility.
With justice.
And with mercy.

I don't always do it perfectly.
But that's my goal.
And the desire of my heart.

This I know is true.

Breakfast

I had a dream this morning
that you all came over to the house after lunch.

You were playing on the floor, with the baby in your lap.
The kids all had a secret they weren't saying.
They knew something that I didn't know.

You and I were there and we were talking.
But, I didn't talk to you,
And you didn't talk to me.

Finally, one spoke up.
He brought in a large box
and began to read from a note he pulled from a bag.

A large, square note card with thick black letters scrawled on it.
"Four seats of honor, and one that was even more special."

He read each name as he drew a chain of cards from the bag.

Four cards,
Four names...

And then a fifth.

There was disappointment and shame, because that fifth seat had been vacant.
I didn't go.  Now I began to feel remorse.

The last name was read...

It was strange because it wasn't a name at all.
It was a term of endearment.  And a corny one, at that.
[It was insincere and it didn't fit.  And, in my dream, I knew this.]

One of the kids opened the box and there were gifts inside that I didn't get to receive because I hadn't gone to lunch.  A stuffed animal and other random things.

You were sitting close to me and the look on your face was a mixture of sorrow, disappointment and scorn.
As if I should have known better.
The kids had bought into this mindset and I wasn't about to give you away,
But I turned to you and said,

"I can't play this game."

I went upstairs, curled up on my bed and cried.

The funny thing is that my bedroom was the last one I had before I left home.

My cries woke me up this morning.

And this chorus began playing in my head...

"And now I'm needing,
Desperately pleading,
'Oh, Lord, be all to me.'

...

'Cause I'm so tired

Of trying to be someone

I was never meant to be.

Be my God,

So I can just be me."

(So I Can Just Be Me, by Laura Story)

Small

Small hands, small feet.

Big heart, big hugs.

I love being a grandparent.  What a gift!  And babies in the family are just so fun!  Sweet little hands.  Precious little cheeks.  Lots of kisses.  Lots of smiles.  

I pray that our little ones grow to know and trust the Lord.  That each one would know just how absolutely remarkable it is to be loved by One so Big.  I pray that each one is able to feel secure and safe and that, no matter what, she (or he) will never be alone.

This big world can really hurt one so small.  I pray for protection and forgiveness and grace.

Lord, thank You for the little ones in our family.

Write

I write from the heart.  

Whatever it speaks, I say.

Sometimes it's good.

Sometimes it's bad.

It's almost always honest.

It's almost always part of a process.

It's seldom malicious.

It's been known to be foolish.

It's been known to cause pain.

I write to encourage.

I write to bring hope and healing.

I write to uncover the truth.

When the Lord is working in my heart and mind, it's important for me to put it into words, and to reflect back.

I seldom reflect as I should.

I'm grateful for the courage to write.  And the words.

Not For You

They have "a yoke on you that you were never meant to wear..."

What's sad is that I'm the one who put it on.  I picked it up, I put it on and I wore it.  It's not their fault - it's mine.

Jesus said, "Take My yoke and learn from Me..." (Matthew 11:29).

That heavy collar that a pair of oxen wear to plow a field - as beasts of burden?

That awkward wooden beam that's balanced across the neck and shoulders to help carry two heavy buckets of water?

"For My yoke is easy and My burden is light," He says (11:30).

Jesus must have meant something else.

When the expectations of others are beyond my comprehension...

When I'm worried more about what "they" think than about what I know to be true...

That is a heavy, awkward burden.  Not meant for me.

Truth is a yoke coupled by One who is stronger and is willing to walk with me through what's hard.

That's the yoke Jesus was talking about.

As my husband spoke words of life over me ("a yoke you were never meant to wear"), the pain I'd felt in my neck and shoulders for the past several days began to dissipate.  As he prayed over me, he lifted the yoke I had been wearing off my shoulders, making way for Jesus to come alongside me and to minister to me in a way I'd never quite grasped before.  That was a great gift.

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the Word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless." ~(Eph. 5:25-27)

Thank you, Babe...  I love you.

Let go.

Tonight I let go of people I love dearly.  It's so not good to hold on.  It's not fair and it hurts.

I want to love them... but I can't (in my humanness).  I can't love what is so bad.  Treating people with such contempt is so very wrong.  Lord, help me to rise out of this pit, and to find hope and healing beyond all of this.  Am I really not loving unconditionally?  Is there something so sinister inside of me that I'm missing?  Lord, please show me the truth.

I know I can't change them.  I can't change the contempt in her heart.  I can't change the deep, deep pain.  Pain that's existed from long before I ever became aware of it.  I don't get it.  I want to scream...!!!  Lord, please forgive me.

There is no way I can ever make up for the wrongs she feels I've committed.  It's hopeless.  I couldn't, even if I wanted to.  There is a terrible fear that I have.  I'm afraid of her abuse.  I'm afraid of losing things... and people... that are precious to me.  I'm afraid of losing who I am, and who You've called me to be.

God, please help me to trust You.

I have so many questions.  I get accusations (over and over and over again) and not a single answer.

It's cruel.

I feel so bad.

Don't be foolish.

Let go.

See...

I can't tell what it is, but my eyes long to see.  My heart longs to know.

Somewhere in the distance is a remarkable truth.  

I'm imperfect. 

What do you see when you close your eyes?